There are times in my life when a giant neon sign lights up right in front of my face. It says “something is about to start”. I feel a sense of readiness and calm in those moments. And I have the knowledge that without a doubt that i am where I’m supposed to be.
When Jason and I first moved in together nearly a year ago I felt it while watching the Big Lebowski and eating ramen noodles on the living room floor.
Same goes for when I transfered home to community college and out of my first choice school. the neon flickered on while I searched the interent for my first apartment.
I’m having that moment right now.
I bought a new lunch box and water bottle, a new palette of eye shadow and I have been test driving outfits for the last couple days. I wake up earlier and earlier each morning to prepare my mind and body for the caterwauling of my alram clock Monday morning.
I’m starting my first job. I feel the need to clarify that this is my first grown up job. A corporate gig. But how can that be true since I dont have a degree in anything. I’ve been going to school for almost 5 years and what do i have to show for it?
Well, for starters, I have a fiance. I’m getting married and I never thought that I would. When I pictured my life, I never saw a husband. I saw myself alone with my big and house and fluffy dogs. None of that was what I wanted, but that’s what I saw.
As for college I saw it as an ends to a mean. A path, a way to mark time until I was an adult with car payments and bills to pay. In the end that’s all I wanted. Responsibility. Stability. And now I have a way to get there.
Now, I’m not delusional, thinking that a job will end any and all inconveniences in my life. That everything will be perfect. I know that a job is just an way to finance your life. But it’s what will make me happy. And isn’t that the point?
What brought all this on? My good friend Stumbleupon brought me this….