All I Need to Know I learned from The Sims.

I’m a lifer when it comes to the Sims. I started controling tiny pixelated people when I was eleven. I’ve bought baby name books to help with making people. I’ve taken ladders out of pools to kill them. No person in the Sims 2 finished college, they stuck around just long enough to get 5 personal wants, find a mate, then I sent them packing. I bred Dalmatians and practiced voodoo. Just today, I made a simulated Jason and myself for Sims 3 . We WooHoo-ed in a treehouse. I got a splinter in my ass. Ouch.

I have spent exactly half my life torturing these fake people and trying gain some experiences through them. This is what I’ve learned so far:
– Toddlers have weird sleep patterns.

– You can have a career, a happy family, and enough sleep. But you can only pick two.

– The hotter looking the Sim, the weirder looking the baby.

-Making good quality pancakes takes at least an hour….

-So does getting out of bed in the morning.

-When in doubt, scream to the heavens above. Maybe someone is listening.

-Laundry is only an issue when you have a washer and dryer.

-Money matters…

-Clothes don’t. You can wear the same great outfit everyday and no one will notice!

I think The Sims 4 will just be a baby delivered to your house.


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